I asked Tara Ashley to write a post for Rowland in Life about single parenting. Karen and I have seen Tara blossom in her faith in Christ and grow in his Word in the last year and half since making Jesus Lord of her life and family. She is a excellent mom and a incredible leader in our ministry at Living Waters.
Being a single parent is the toughest, yet most rewarding parenting style. As a single parent of two with two different fathers I experience two different “types” of single parenting.
My oldest child’s father is not in the picture and my youngest child’s father is very involved. I first became a mother as a teenager and I always wanted to beat the statistics and not end up a single mother, but here I am. I often question am I enough for my kids, do they deserve better than me, or am I screwing them up.
At times I try to overcompensate for them having to be raised in a single parent household. They didn’t ask for this life, right? They didn’t ask to be born and raised with no father in the home, or have to go without things others kids have because our household runs off one income.
They didn’t ask for a mom with short patience who is constantly stressed and just plain tired. When I look at my kids, I see so much joy and happiness yet so much anger and hurt. Why weren’t we enough? Why did their father leave? Why do I have to do this alone?
When the kid’s go to bed and I have “me time” is when the depression kicks in -depression over our current situation and depression over the future. There is the depression of accepting that I will forever be alone because I will not allow another man into our life just for us to be disappointed again. Feeling like a failure because I am a statistic. I am the once teen mom who is now a single mom. I am what society said I would be. Will this ever get better?
That’s when I have to remind myself I’m not in this alone. His Word declares over me and my kids: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them. For the Lord our God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
With God, I am never truly doing this alone. His Word comforts me. He is always with me. Through His Word, I get out of my depression and focus on another day of single parenting.
I then get to focus on the rewards which are so much greater. As a single parent, I don’t have to share my kid’s hugs and kisses. I get the credit for all the amazing things they learn and will become. As long as we keep our faith in God, we will be ok.
God will make a way for us. We might not be living the “ideal” life but we are making our lives ideal. His Word tells me so.
“I know the plans I have for you” says the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Being a single parent, it is easy to become over-whelmed. That is why staying in God’s word and trusting him is so important.
Single parenting? It is not for the weak! Let’s Connect and we will pass it on to Tara. Tara would love to pray for you and your family today.