This is an excerpt from my book, Breaking Generational Sin: Establishing Righteousness to the Next Generation.
When it comes to influential parenting, we must understand that some things are taught and some things are caught. A well-known child psychologist wrote a poem many decades ago about children learn what they live. The poem, by Dorothy Law Nolte, goes like this:
“That if children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If they learn to live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If they live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If they live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If they live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If they live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If they live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If they live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If they live with acceptance, they learn love.
They live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn that it is good to have a goal.
If they live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If they live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place to live.
With what are your child is your child living?”
So some things are taught.
I know you feel that it is a generational curse that you tell the person off who breaks in front of you in line at the local store. You probably didn’t catch that from mommy even though mommy and daddy probably told off the person too. What happened is you probably learned how to tell off that person or any person who gets in your way. Some things are taught, some things are caught.
All my children are adopted. My youngest son is Joshua. Joshua doesn’t like nuts on his desserts. I blame his mother, my wife, Karen. If we make a dessert in the house, you will see it with half nuts and half without. Most of the time, it is without nuts because the wife is always the head of the household and she refuses for it to have nuts. Now, we, the husbands, are the spiritual head of the household but they run the roost. You know what the movie said, “They’re the head of the household, we’re just the neck that turns the head.”
About two years ago, Joshua, who’s seven now, got this huge interest about basketball. If you know me and know Karen, we’re not the athletic kind. I’m not a big sports fanatic. Sports to me is like country music. I love a good concert so I like to be there live. I like going to live sports events but watching on television just bores me. That’s just me.
Two years ago, Joshua, who has always been athletic, fell in an extreme admiration with basketball. He takes a basketball everywhere we go. We go on vacation, he wants to take a basketball with him. On the last game between the Miami Heat and Antonio Spurs in the 2013 season, he tried his best to stay up to watch the final match. He fell asleep one minute before the end of the game.
He eats and sleep basketball. He knows all these players. He plays basketball video games all the time. One day, I decided to go through his adoption papers. His birth mother wrote things for myself and Karen and eventually Joshua about herself. What she wrote on there that she loved basketball and football and what was interesting was she played basketball for four years in school. Basketball was something Joshua caught. There are some things that are taught. There are some things that are caught.
I can’t tell you the science behind it. I do know this, though. Smith Wigglesworth, the famed evangelist around 1900s into the 1940, said. He said, “Blood is thicker than water but spirit is thicker than blood.” I can’t explain it but there are some things that supernaturally are passed through our DNA that we can’t explain and that we get from the generation before us.
Enjoy these post as well to influence you to better parenting: